Real Update: Wisdom from Relationships
I had one of those intense moments this week where you get clarity and an inside view on how the universe is actually doing for you what you may or may not been able to do for yourself…
It also help me see how far I have come to no longer settle for less in life or be careless with my heart or the heart of others—no matter the situation.
I got a call yesterday from my last relationship ex. The last few months I have been missing him and his sweet spirit and soul in my daily life. While our time together was not a very long one, I did feel like I had opened my heart in a way that I had not in a long time. Our time together was lovely and open and honest. however, We had to put things on hold while he went to get his life in order since things had started to fall apart in his life.
So… This week when he called me ….On our call he revealed he would be moving in with the current woman he is now seeing.
She is a great woman but I do have to say it stung a bit and it took me back for a minute.
He continued to go on for about an hour…. on all of the things falling apart in his life. I had offered to help him with a few things to empower him to get out of those situations but all he had was excuses and more stories. I also became very clear as if all of a sudden my eyes had clearer vision that he was incapable of taking responsibility for the areas where he was out of integrity with himself and with those he promised things to around him including me and probably this woman.
His answers were mostly about the situations around him like loosing his house or his external problems and that is why he could not be impeccable with his word or follow thru on things or communicate in a mature way.
I also had to look at where I had not wanted to see where he had been disrespectful to me and i choose to only look at the good in him. I had to ask myself what was going on with me that I would have let that slide like I did.
It made me reflect that when I was in that place many , many years ago , I did the same thing. Any time I didn’t show up for someone or was disrespectful to them I would use the excuse and not own up to the fact that I had let people down and hurt their feelings. I never apologized I always made it about my problems or them.
I would always say…
“Well look at my life it is a mess..That is why I can’t keep my word and I can’t communicate with you effectively! That is why I can’t respect your time or space. If you had my life you would be that way too”- OLD Siobhan
Then someone mirrored back to me… those things life throws at you have nothing to do with how you treat yourself or the people you care about around you.
Being impeccable with your word, treating yourself and others with respect and being clear in communication are things that no situation or hardship can take from us. That shows our real value and how we value others. They inspired me to be better and do better DURING the mess.
I learned that lesson the hard way and no less while living in my car and being bed ridden with major health issues. My problems and the problems life seemed to throw on me are not an excuse to treat others with disrespect or even make it their problem to fix. I had to own all of it! Take responsibility to BE different no matter how hard or what the conditions.
To be a woman of value and integrity I must show up and be the best friend, worker and person I can be in each situation with no excuses.
Self love and love of others is the only action that no outside situation can steal from us if we don’t let it.
This is what made me shift and change and become the person I am on most days proud to be.
When the call ended…
I had this realization… I was so GRATEFUL and RELIEVED that it was NOT me that this man would be living with!
I was so glad this is NOT the man I would spend my life with.
It was like all the puzzle pieces aligned in my head and heart and I could see the sweet soul I loved underneath all this mess but that the man before me was incapable of loving himself or another being in any REAL way for a long time to come. He also was unwilling to make the changes needed to change and to shift out of this place and own up to his part in any of it.
My experience with these kinds of people is that gravity pulls you down with them if you are not careful.
Divine mama eloquently moved this person out of my life in a way that made sure that I could be loving but keep my distance.
I am blessed that I had this experience and could connect with this soul in the short duration I did . He truly at his core is a good soul and I will always love him.
However, I am even more blessed that I no longer have this person as a primary person in my life and have clarity that they are incapable of being the kind of man that I can have in my inner circle or as a partner.
Life lessons are hard sometimes but the WISDOM in my HEART right now feels FULL of LIGHT and JOY that I am truly taken care of by the universe of Divine Mama !
I love the choices I have made to NOT be in relationships that are settling for less in any way or being careless with my heart or others. May we all find the LOVE in a moment and within us to LIVE in Respect of ourselves and others no matter how uncomfortable or how ard it may seem.
Sending so much LOVE and Wisdom light to each of us.
